It's almost December!?

... Steve McQueen was the man, second only to John Candy.

The location is New York. The date is November 25, 2006. The time is 6:13pm. It is a saturday. We are less than a week from December and the weather is ridiculous... it was in the 50's today... warm enough to ride my bike, and tomorrow is supposed to be about 60. I don't know what's going on, but it's pretty awesome.

On my bike ride today, I passed a police officer who didn't like the look of my bike apparently. It must scream, "this guy speeds, follow him for the next 15 minutes and hope he does something illegal." I didn't, and he finally stopped tailing me. Jerkface.

Anyway, I stopped along the side of the road to have a cigarette and relax my clutch hand from some heavy use. A crazy old shaman showed up out of thin air. He said, "I will grant you three wishes, all you have to do is give me a tuna sandwich." I told him to go away, because obviously a tuna sandwich would have been work keeping for myself... if I even had one. I asked him, "You are a shaman, right?"
"Well, yeah, of course I am. What else could I possibly be?"
"Oh, I don't know, a fucking genie? I mean you are claiming that you will grant me three wishes."
"Dude, I'm a shaman, not a magician, I can't grant wishes myself."
"What do you mean? How else would you have my wishes granted."
"Obviously I have a genie. I would make him do it. Just give me a tuna sandwich."
That being said, it all seemed to make sense now. So, I took him up on his offer. My first wish was for a tuna sandwich to give to the shaman. Running short on ideas for wishes 2 and 3, I just came up with some quick and shitty wishes. My second wish was for a pocket full of quarters, because I like the sound a pocket full of quarters makes. My third wish was for a hot chick to flash me as I rode by her on the road.

So, on my way home, I noticed a bag in the middle of the road with a '$' symbol on it. I stopped and picked it up. $90 worth of quarters! Sweet! Put that in my pocket. Later on, I see the most gorgeous chick in my entire life just hanging out by the road. As I got closer, she started to point at me and giggle. All of the sudden she pulled off her clothes and was completely naked. Now, I don't really believe in genies or anything, but after my experience today, I am having serious second thoughts.

Crazy!

-Hollywood.

My eyes are bleeding!

... always remember who your true friends are by purchasing expensive gifts for all of them.

Yeah, so, I know, it's been quite a while since I last posted on this thing. Well, you're going to have to forgive me. I've been really busy between working both jobs and just trying to get a lot of other things done. Either way, I'll make it up to you by being completely entertaining here.

It has been brought to my attention that there is a gentleman by the name of Jim Silgnick who has been following me. Don't ask me why? I don't even know who the guy is. I just know that he has been walking approximately 30 feet behind me day after day everywhere I go. It's kind of creepy. I like to mess with him though. Sometimes I stop walking just to see him stop. Sometimes I run straight at him and he runs also. Well, I was doing this running thing today and he dropped his wallet. So, I decided to have a look see. He was giving me an awkward look from 30 feet away, but I didn't care. I took his license and his $65. Sucker. Anyway, it told me his name and where he lives... except that he is constantly 30 feet behind me rather than at his home. So, I am going to try to go to his house tomorrow and figure out more about him. Damn, people are creepy.

On a further note, I have a motorcycle now. It's the greatest thing ever.

On a further note from that previous note, I am going to make the first attempt at a trip around the world twice! I will circle the globe twice with my jet fuel/solar powered/wind sail/ flying device. I have no issues about making the distance, I know that will be fine. My main issue is whether or not my AA batteries will last long enough to power the Tiger handheld games I need to bring with me to keep me entertained. I hope so.