Make sure you killed them; hit them a second time!

... 'Dancing With the Stars' was passed up on because Mario Lopez and I have too much tension.

I am tired, and not feeling all that hot, so I am going to bed like right now, but I wanted to take a moment to let everyone know that I AM in fact still alive. Last week, I took a break because my head had to heal. It turns out that KGB operatives have been living next door to me and saw me looking at my own reflection in the window admiring myself. Apparently they mistook this for watching them unload uranium into their basement in preperation of the final act in the Cold War (yes, it is still in full blown action, but they keep it low key for some reason). Well, by now you're asking yourself, "why is his head healing?" The answer to that is simple, duh! The unknown men broke down my front door and attempted to give me a labotomy. It wasn't until they cracked into the skull and took notice of my abnormally large brain when they realized they didn't have the right tools for the job. They said they were going to come back the next day, but I was ready for them. I had the FBI and CIA called in (I use telepathy because it saves on my cell phone bill). They hid all over my house and the next day, when the KGB guys came back and kicked in my back door, they were all arrested.

So, the reason I have not posted in a while is because my head was cut open and a little achey. But, the good news; I am alive and expected to heal up to 100% (no scarring expected), I saved the world from an atomic winter, I earned a congressional medal of honor, they also threw in a purple heart because I asked for one, and I got a fruit basket from the President. Bush, I voted for you twice, you're one hell of a guy! I love you!

On that note, goodnight and I'll be seeing you world!

-Hollywood-