Carjack old women!

... no amount of CGI can ever compare to good old fashioned make-up.

I took notice of gas prices tonight... $2.89. This is a wonderful change from the $3.32 I was paying not too long ago. Thank god those eskimos didn't drive up our gas prices like they planned to.

In other news today, three eskimos were arrested for SWI (sledding while intoxicated). Authorities were tipped off by a polar bear with a soar behind. Local sheriffs knew they had the right group when they noticed 3 of the sled dogs were actually baby seals. The three eskimos were taken into custody while the 3 baby seals were clubbed. Police chief Oscar Grundle says, "I predict a short trial and at least $50 for the hat I plan on making from the fur."

Local animal rights groups said they were not pleased about the clubbing incident, but want people to know that after a seal has been used for sledding, it cannot be reintroduced to wildlife. It seems that the mentality of running as a pack stays with them and quickly spreads throughout the rest of the group. Often times these seals lead the rest of the group 2 by 2 straight into the mouths of Shamu's relatives, the Krill Boys.